Shrinking Alesha

Uncomfortably Full

2008-05-14T20:04:00.001-04:00

I can’t believe how full I am right now. I ate about three tbsp of pulled pork that I mashed up like baby food. Now I have a pain at the base of my throat. It has been an hour and a half and I still feel it. I tried to drink to get the food through my band quicker. Still nothing. Could it be that I do not need a fill? The doctor told me there is a little saline in the band from the surgery. Maybe that is enough. My first fill was supposed to be in two weeks but I couldn’t get an appointment until June 9th. That may be a good thing.

2 weeks post op

2008-05-12T20:05:00.003-04:00

Today is two weeks post op and I went back to work today. I drive a school bus part time so I can be home for the kids when I need to be. I have been feeling great and ready to go back. Saturday was a little sketchy though. I worked the concession stand at the softball field. At first it was great. I worked the grill and fryer. Then, about 2 1/2 hours later I felt sick and there was a slight pain on my right side, around were the port is attached to the muscle.

So I was fine in the morning at work today. During the afternoon run I started to feel the same way I did Saturday. I think it was a combination of the bumpy ride and sitting for so long. I came home and had a sugar free popsicle and went off to softball practice. I walked around a little and relaxed and now I feel a little better.

I sure hope that this late in the day pain will stop soon. I really thought I would bounce right back from surgery. I guess it is another perk of pushing forty.

For the Love of Tuna

2008-05-08T10:05:00.004-04:00

The PA said it was time to go to mushies. Yeah!!! I didn't realize how much I love tuna. Or could it be because I haven't had real food in so long. At first I just had a little tuna with lite mayo so it would not be dry. I added pepper and Italian seasoning for a little flavor. YUM.

Then I found these:I just had the Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil version. Yummy and very different. I must warn you, it does look like cat food when you open it so I plated it pretty with lettuce to make me feel better.

I tried to just eye two tablespoons but I think I did a little more because now I am a little stuffed. I need to scale it down a little next time. Oh, but is with worth it.

Panic Attacks and Forgetfulness

2008-05-07T08:57:00.001-04:00

So let me start with a little background. Five years ago, when I was pregnant with my third daughter, I began to have panic attacks. It is the worst feeling that I have ever had. I went on medication and I was able to control them. Back in August of last year I thought I could live off the meds. I slowly weaned myself off of the meds and was doing okay. That was until my sleep study. I had my first full blown panic attack the first night off my sleep study and had to go home. I was fine after that until my surgery. After surgery, when I was waking up, I felt out of control and on the brink of another panic attack. I remember telling the nurse I felt like I was at the start of one and she asked if I was prone to them and asked why I didn’t have any meds listed. Well because I thought I could handle them with meds. Anyway, the pain meds helped ease the tension. They wheeled me into the other room and after a while when the drugs were wearing off I felt closer to a panic attack again. I was able to walk around and control it with the help of my husband. I finally got to go home. Being home and on pain meds I was okay for the week.

That brings us up to Monday. I decided not to take any pain medicine so I can go back to work soon. The pain was fine but again I started to be on the brink of a panic attack again. On Tuesday, I woke up and went into the bathroom where my husband was taking a shower and just lost it. I started crying because I was losing control. I ended up talking myself out of it and went downstairs and took one of my pain pills. It did help and I decided to keep myself busy and not to think about it. I went to the laundry room to throw a load in and kept hearing my husband come in and out. Finally he said “I love you” and I thought he left for good. And then I saw my 7 year old holding a dozen of roses and a card and she said “Happy Anniversary”. I can’t believe I totally forgot. Me, the wife. Isn’t the husband supposed to forget? Anyway, he gave me a hug and said don’t worry about it, he completely understands. I know he was chuckling all day that now he has one up on me. I can’t wait until he decides to use this in a future argument.

I went to the doctors for my post surgery appointment. The PA told me my body was under stress so that is the reason for my panic attacks. She told me to contact my PCP and get back on my meds. So I did and I don’t think I will ever go off them again.

15 lbs in a week

2008-05-07T08:21:00.002-04:00

Can you believe it? I am down 15 pounds since my surgery. Well almost I think. I think I lost a couple more from my weigh in on Wed and surgery on Monday. It has not been a fun week. I have been living off of sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello, crystal light, and a little broth. At first it wasn't so bad because I wasn't hungry. The past two days I have been really hungry and going a little nuts because I just want to sit down to a big bowl of pasta. I have called the doctors office to see if I can start mushies and all they said was to refer to my dietitian's notes. Well thanks for all your help. So I went to my notes and it states that I can start my mushies on week three and I can't have real food until week five. It seems a little long to me. I am getting dizzy and very cranky and on the edge. My poor family.

Confessions

2008-05-04T19:14:00.000-04:00

I finally broke down and told my husband the biggest secret that I have been keeping from him. I can't believe I did it. It is the only BIG secret that I have from him and now it is over. I told him how much I weighed. It was so hard for me to say. When I went in for surgery last Monday, the anesthesiologist asked how tall I was and how much I weighed; I had to write it down so my husband wouldn't hear. The other night he saw me typing on my blog while we were in bed and he saw the title "Shrinking Alesha". I asked what I was doing and told him none of his business. My husband works with computers all day. He is a network administrator and he knows his way around them pretty well. I new with a couple of clicks of the mouse he would find my blog and see how much I weighed. So alas I broke down and told him the nasty truth. Now for the reason I love my husband so much, he told me he thought I hovered around 220 at my highest. What a man I have.

Too Much Today

2008-05-04T18:31:00.002-04:00

Today I hosted my middle daughter’s 7th birthday party at a bowling alley. I knew when I booked the party it would be pushing it a little. My only other choice was next weekend which is Mother’s Day weekend and, well, I wanted a few kids to show up anyway. So I brought my husband and my 16 year old to help and off we went. There was 11 kids total. I did not lift anything. I did not bowl. I just walked around and took picture and tried to keep the kids in order. Two hours later, I was in some serious pain. I took a pain killer before the party but I guess I just over did it. I went home and slept for a while but I am still sore. I hope I didn’t do anything to my band.

26 vs 38

2008-05-01T21:36:00.004-04:00

I have come to the realization that I am getting older. Before going into Lab Band surgery I read post after post on the Lap Band talk forum. It seemed that most people took one to two weeks to feel well enough to return to work. I had laparoscopic surgery on July 3, 1996 when my gall bladder was removed. On July fourth I was at a friend's for a BBQ. I was a little sluggish but all in all I felt great. I do remember leaving early to go to bed. The next day I was fine.

With my past experience and what they were saying on the boards, I was sure I would be feeling better within a couple of days of my Lap Band surgery. The one thing I forgot to factor in was that now I am 38 years old. I am four days post op and although I can function, I don't think I am going to feel 100 percent for a few days. The gas is still rolling around in my abdomen. I think that is the cause of most of my discomfort.

On another note, the one thing I do need to work on is my mental aspect of losing weight. I found myself really wanting to eat today. Not that I was hungry, but just because. I think that this will be my biggest hurdle.

Post Op

2008-04-30T19:31:00.002-04:00

I didn't see the doctor after surgery but he told my husband everything went as planned. It took about an hour for the surgery. They wheeled me in and put me under a little after 8 am. When I woke up in the recovery room I remember seeing the clock at 10:40. I am sure I was in there a while before I realized I was awake. They took 2 x-rays right after I woke up. That was a little painful trying to roll over. I don't think the first one was good, that's why they came in for a second.

Once they wheeled me to a mini room my husband came in. I had the TV on but I was kind of sleeping but it was very uncomfortable. I asked to walk around and go to the bathroom which made me feel a little better. They asked if I wanted to go home and I definitely did. I could not get comfortable there.

We came home at 2:30. My husband went to get my prescriptions filled. It was very hard to try to find a position that was comfortable to me. I ended up sleeping a little on my side on the couch with my upper body propped up. I did a lot of pacing all night but I managed to get some sleep in. The Loritab prescription came in huge pills. You would have thought they would have given me something smaller. So I just crushed them before I took them.

Tuesday was a little better. I was in bed most of the time, folded a little laundry. I thought all the gas pains were gone already. I have eaten sugar free popsicles, a little SF jello, and some organic veggie broth.

Today, Wednesday, I now know that the gas is still in there. I am in a lot more pain than yesterday. My stomach seems to be swollen under my breast bone. And it is harder to get things down. I can only have 2 spoons full of jello, a half of popsicle, or a couple sips of any liquid. I just took a pain pill and I feel like it is in my throat.

I think I may have over done it by making dinner and doing laundry today. I am just going to sit around tomorrow so hopefully I will heal soon.

I'm Home

2008-04-28T16:24:00.002-04:00

I am home from the hospital. I went in at 6 and left just before 2pm. I am very sore but feel much better that I am home. I don't really know any details of the surgery yet but I will find out soon. I am trying to keep hydrated. I han 1/2 sugar free popsicle and small sips of decaf iced tea with Splenda, very watered down. I had two pain pills since I have been home and was able to sleep a little on the couch.

One warning for those of you with CPAP machines. Do not fill before moving. I thought I was being prepared by washing it and filling it before the hospital. Well the distilled water leaked out, all over the machine. It is working fine now though. I really thought the water was sealed in. Okay, live and learn.

I will write more tomorrow when I feel better.

Tomorrow is the day!

2008-04-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

Today was day 3 of the 3 day prep. Same as yesterday except I could not have any Medifast shakes. I only could have clear liquids all day. So I had a couple of sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello, and Crystal Light. Needless to say I am very cranky today. My kids deserve a medal.

Tomorrow I will head out to the hospital around 5:40 am. I am a little nervous but I just keep thinking it is going to help be live a healthy life.

New Cooking Habits

2008-04-26T10:37:00.003-04:00

My grandmother came from Italy and was such a great cook. Growing up at her house I learned how to cook straight from the master. I am a very good cook, although not as good as she was, and I love to eat what I make. This is why I am as big as I am. Not so much from sweets but from food, real Italian, carb loaded, food. I am a real nostalgic person so I feel that when I make Thanksgiving dinner, for example, I need to make it just like Nonny use to make it.

So now is the time to change. Not just for me but to develop good habits for my kids. They are thin now but I don’t want them to inherit my never ending weight problem. I have come to the conclusion that I need to ditch Nonny's old recipes and start from scratch. Once I am more confident on not back sliding I will try to revamp some of her old recipes but for now I am on a quest for new ones.

Since my biggest part of my weight problem comes from carbs, I am in search of recipes for low carb meals. I have found a blog that deals with South Beach friendly recipes. Kalyn's Kitchen has a great recipe for Egg Muffins. You can make these ahead of time and keep them in the fridge for a quick breakfast. I am going to try to make them with Egg Beaters for myself on the "mushie" stage. I thought they would be great for the kids in the morning, since dad gets them ready for school. It is a great alternative for the high sugar instant oatmeal or frozen waffles they are use to eating for breakfast.

Here is the direct link to the Egg Muffin post but be sure to check out all of her recipes. I think most will be quite "Band Friendly" once I get to eat real food again.

I am looking for some good, low carb/fat cream soup recipes for the mushie stage so if you know of any please send them my way.

Surgery Prep

2008-04-26T10:26:00.002-04:00

Okay last night was the first night of my three day night surgery prep. I really isn't bad. The first two days of the prep I need to continue my 5 medifast shakes a day. Then at 7 pm have 2 tbsp Milk of Magniesia and a fleet enema. I don't know what they expect to come out since I have been on a liquid diet for 5 weeks. I only ended up drinking 3 shakes yesterday and one sugar free popsicle.

Anyway, I will do it all over again today.

2 more days until surgery.

Last pre op weigh in

2008-04-23T10:12:00.002-04:00

Just back from my weigh in and I lost 5.8 lbs. So I am down to 240. I am sure there is another two pounds in there. I am very bloated and, um, well you know. Anyway I will take that. It will definately be down more by Monday with the three days of prep for the surgery. I will let you know more when I start the prep on Friday.

I just made a great dish that I got from one of my favorite blogs, The Gesweins. She lives in China and had a great recipe for Garlic Broccoli. It was very good and still low in calories, even with a little oil. Check out her blog for the recipe with pictures.

APPROVED!!!!

2008-04-22T18:08:00.002-04:00

I received the call. I am approved and all set for Monday. Nothing like cutting it so close. I must admit that I really did not think I was going to be able to get it done Monday. I thought it was going to be put off 6 months for a medical supervised diet. I guess when my pcp wrote her letter she stated diets that I have tried while I was under her care and that was good enough. Thank you. Now I am excited.

Try #2 Chocolate Medifast Pudding

2008-04-22T11:15:00.002-04:00

Okay I tried it again. This time I took one French Vanilla Medifast shake and added 1 1/2 tbsp of sugar free chocolate pudding (40 calories). I made it like I make my shakes, in a smoothie maker/blender with 8 oz cold water and crushed ice. It tasted very good. A little runnier than regular pudding. It might have been thicker if I put it in the fridge for 15 to 20 minutes but I was hungry. I will definitely try that again.

Dr. Clark's office left a message today. They finally heard from the insurance company. The ins company needed more information faxed to them. Probably the Physiologist information but she didn't say. Hopefully I will find out today or tomorrow if I will be having surgery on Monday or not. We will see.

Medifast Chocolate Pudding

2008-04-21T20:49:00.003-04:00

Tonight I made a Medifast Chocolate pudding recipe I found on that website I told you about. It looked great.

At first it tasted okay, a little less sweet than real pudding. But then there was a terrible after taste. I only ate half of it. Which is good because I caculated an extra 90 calories in the dish. I would never have guessed that unflavored gelatin had 100 per envelope. I think that may have been the bad after taste. I think I may try it without the gelatin.

Medifast Shake Recipes

2008-04-21T14:54:00.003-04:00

I found this website to shake up my Medifast liquid diet. (pun intended)

I just made this one and it was pretty good.

Lemon Meringue Cooler
1 packet Medifast Vanilla Supplement
6-8oz of cold water
3-4 ice cubes
1/8 - 14 tsp Lemonade Crystal Light (dry mix)

I use WalMart's version of Crystal Light because it is cheaper and has fewer calories. I found this to be true with their sugar free jello vs. Jello brand also.

I am going to try this one next:

Vanilla Lemon Pudding
1 packet Medifast Vanilla Supplement
1 ½ Tbsp Jello Sugar Free Vanilla Instant Pudding (dry mix)
½ packet (1full tsp) Knox Unflavored Gelatin
3 oz hot water 3 oz cold water
1/4tsp Lemon Extract
2 Ice cubes
Combine Medifast Supplement and pudding in a small container. Set aside. Stir gelatin in hot water. Let soften 3-4 minutes, then stir until clear. Add clear water and stir again. Process gelatin mixture, dry ingredients, and extract in blender until thoroughly combined. Add ice cubes one at a time until mixture begins to thicken. Pour into serving bowl. Refrigerate until set, about 15-20 minutes. Stir and Enjoy.

Pudding for dinner YUMMY. My kids are going to be jealous when they have to eat their chicken and veggies.

Nothing yet????

2008-04-21T14:19:00.002-04:00

No word from the insurance company yet. The good news is the psychologist FINALLY sent the paperwork to the doctor's office. Now if the insurance calls and says "hey we need this" she has it to send to them. Wish I knew what the heck is going on.

If I had a chance for a "do-over" this is how I would go about the Lap Band process.

1. Register for the information seminar required as the 1st step. (At least for my doctor's office)

2. Make an appointment with a registered nutritionist. Make these appointments for once a month. Do this right away on the slight chance you will want to have the Lap band surgery. Very important.

3. Call insurance company and ask to receive information about their policies on weight lose surgery.

4. Go to initial consult with Doctor and start the required appointments he will make for you. For example, psychologist, Pulmonolgist, sleep study, blood work, etc.

5. Keep going to monthly nutritionist appointment so that way when the doctor is ready to send in paperwork for approval you will have already have done it.

Hope this helps.

No weigh in

2008-04-21T10:27:00.002-04:00

I did not go to my weigh in today. The kids did not have school so I did not go to work. So with gas being close to $4 a gallon I did not want go there without going to work (they are very close).
So my weigh in will be on Wednesday.

I went scrapbooking all weekend with my sister and freinds. I did not do pure liquid diet, not that I have been anyway, but I did good. They provided bagels and pastries, a carbohydrate feast, for breakfast both days so I had a protien shake then. For lunch they provided sandwiches, veggie platter, potatoe salad and lots of sweets. I ate the meat out of one of the sandwiches and veggies. Dinner was on our own so we went to the pub in the hotel and I order a Mandrian Chicken Salad. It would have been better if they did not already toss it in the dressing, but I ate it anyway. Sunday they provided pizza, wings, and salad. I ate the salad. All in all I think I did pretty well. I did have few grapes throughout the weekend and I one small chocolate chip cookie. (oops)

Exercise

2008-04-17T10:44:00.003-04:00

Isn't this the truth! It may be a cartoon but something to take to heart. The good new is, I just called my insurance company and asked if they offerred a gym credit. Yes they do! $100 per year. That great because it is $140 per year for the new Planet Fitness that is 2 minutes away from me. Check your insurance policies. I wouldn't have known if my mother-in-law didn't mention it to me.

The Frustration Builds

2008-04-17T10:19:00.002-04:00

I still have nothing from the psychologist. The person who handles Dr. Clarke's patients took a chance and sent in the paperwork to the insurance company on the 15th, without the psyche evaluation. I called the insurance company today and they have no record of it yet. They are supposed to get back to the doctor within 72 hours which is tomorrow. Let's see what they say.

I am now trying to resign myself to the fact that my surgery will not be the 28th. I seriously don't know how much more of this liquid diet I can take. The good news is that I think I am down to 241 for a total 22 lbs lost. I will know for sure on Monday.

Make your appointments early!!

2008-04-15T14:43:00.002-04:00

Well Friday I went to the doctor and was weighed. I lost 2 more pounds for a total of 18 in 2 ½ weeks. I scheduled my next weigh in for Monday the 21st. My mini goal for that day is 5 lbs.

There is a hold up on sending the information to the insurance company. The psychologist still has not sent the info needed to the doctor’s office. He assured me once he canceled the week prior that he would do it immediately. After the visit when it came time to pay he did not accept debit cards. He told me he needed my co pay for him to send my paper work over so I ran to the atm and gave it to him 10 minutes later. Well now it is Tues and he still has not sent it over. And to top it off, I can’t even leave another message for him because his voicemail is full. He must be away on vacation. Now he is going to hold up my surgery. Great. I don’t know how much more I can take on the liquid diet.

So everyone make sure you make your appointments in plenty of time prior to your surgery.

Finally! The psych exam.

2008-04-09T17:48:00.002-04:00

I have been waiting forever for this. It is the main thing needed so they can send in my information for insurance approval. The psychologist changed the date and time twice.

The exam was a piece of cake. I was in and out within a half hour. I had to first answer three pages of yes or no questions. “Have you ever felt anxiety? Have you ever felt that you cannot leave your home?” Etc. I answered no to most of them except, “do you ever over eat?” HELLO! Of course I do, that’s why I am here. Then I just had a quick one on one with the psychologist. He just wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing and that I had a support system at home.

With all that said, and another $40 co-payment, he said I was an ideal candidate for the procedure.

These past two days have been tough. The good news is that I went for a 20 minute walk both days. The bad news is I ate. I could not help myself yesterday. I took a little nap before I went back to work and I woke up starving. Before I knew it I ate a little of the leftover pasta. Not much but enough. My stomach felt horrible with that food in it.

Today I was hungry too but I was able to control myself a little better. I had a piece of fish for dinner and a bit of my daughters chicken, no carbs though.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Week 2 weigh in

2008-04-07T10:18:00.002-04:00

I dropped 6 lbs this week. Yeah. I was hoping for 5 so I am psyched. This week was much more easier than last week. I found that towards the end of the week I just wasn't hungry. I still have been doing 2 to 3 shakes with one veggie and protein meal. I think I may try the 5 shakes this week and no food.

I am getting weighed in again on Friday this week so I can combine the doctors pre op visit with my weigh in. That way I only have to pay one $40 co pay. So my goal this week, actually 4 days, is 4 lbs. I know that is a little much for 4 days but I would really like to be at that 20 lb mark. I will start to walk this week to help it along.

The pre op diet

2008-04-06T16:54:00.000-04:00

I started my pre op diet on March 24, 2008. I went to the doctors office, very excited to get started. I went in and I new my weight was going to be a little higher than normal. I was eating everything the week before knowing that I would not be able to again. Yup, 3 pounds heavier. Anyway, this nurse ran through everything so fast that I could not keep up with what she was saying. You can tell she does this day in and day out and it is just monotonous for her. It seemed as though I was a bother to her when I asked a question. Anyway I came home with my Medifast shakes.

I was to have 5 Medifast shakes per day for four weeks. When I looked at my calendar it was 5 week to my surgery. A little devastating to say the least. When the woman scheduled my appointments she must have mis-read the calendar. The 24Th and the 31st were in the same box on the calendar, you know the with the slash. Oh well I might as well do it because the more weight I lose before surgery the better.

Week one was a tough one. I decided I needed to ease into it. I had 3 shakes per day and one meal of protien and green veggies. I mostly had a piece of fish and broccoli everynight which was about 150 calories. I drank a ton of water too. Well it seem to work because I lost 10 pounds that week. Mostly water I know but hey, 10 lbs is 10 lbs.

I get weighed in for week two tomorrow.

The Beginning

2008-04-04T10:56:00.002-04:00

Hello and welcome to my blog. I am wrinting this blog first for me, to document my journey through the Lap Band process. My hope is someone else my find some help and inspiration by reading it too.

I thought the best way to start was to paste the letter I needed to write for the insurance company outlining why I need this surgery. So here it is:

January 30, 2008

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is *** and I am a 38 year old mother of three. I have been overweight my entire life.

While growing up I was always the chubby child. I was active, I loved to jump rope but was still heavier than my friends. When I was around 10 years old, my mother and I went to Weight Watchers. I don’t remember how much, if any, I lost I just remember us going to meetings.

While a teenager in high school I weighed 190 lbs. I tried many fad diets over these awkward years, never losing more than 10 to 15 pounds. Off to college I tried the Diet Workshop and then a year later I tried Nurti Systems. Again I did not lose more than 15 pounds and the weight came back very soon after. I always hovered around 190 lbs.

At the age of 22 I became pregnant with my first daughter. I gained 18 pounds during my pregnancy. The year following her birth I exercised and followed Suzanne Sommers crab free diet. I was able to lose 35 pounds. After that I quickly gained the weight back plus some. Then once again, I tried a low calorie Weight Watchers diet. Once again, only losing a few pounds.

In 1997 I followed a carb free Akins diet. I lost 35 pounds, getting down to 155 lbs. I exercised 4 times a week and I could not get my weight past 155. In 1998 I began to gain my weight back. In the next year I ballooned up to 226 lbs.

I became pregnant with my second daughter in 2000 and gained 14 during this pregnancy. I had her in May 2001 and was able to get down to 210 after her birth. I became pregnant again in early 2002 with my third daughter. I gained only 5 pounds with her. During this time I was on the borderline of gestational diabetes. I saw a nutritionist during this time to help develop good eating habits and to control the diabetes.

After having my third child I ballooned up to my highest weight of 260. That is when I went back to Weight Watchers and used their points system. I was able to get down to 238 however this did not last long and again I regained the weight. My doctor had me try Phentermine and I was able to lose 25 lbs again. I was on this for about 4 months when it didn’t seem to work anymore. I also tried Mardiea a few months later. This made my heart race and my doctor and I decided that I should not take that anymore.

In June 2007 I went to an instructional meeting on weight lose surgery. I was told all the risks about the surgeries. I felt that it was in my best interest to try to lose the weight one more time before I tried a drastic procedure. I went on the 6 week body makeover diet. I also tried to limit my carbs. I tried to exercise by walking. But now that I am in my late thirties the weight is so much harder to come off. My feet and knees hurt so much when I exercise. I bought very expensive walking shoes hoping that that would help but it did not. I have been to my primary doctor with heart palpitations which I believe come because I am so obese. I have always had low blood pressure and now it is elevated every time I have it checked. My cholesterol is high. I do not sleep at night. I awaken several times a night and I am always tired during the day. I was even going to counseling hoping that would help getting to the root of my weight problem. I am so afraid that I am slowing killing myself by being overweight. I do not want to leave my kids without a mother.

So after my first initial meeting in June and my last effort to control this myself, I have decided that my only option was to pursue weight lose surgery. If I don’t I will die and my kids will be without a mother.

Please approve my lap band surgery so I can live a long, happy life with my husband and children.

Thank you,